What is Implied.—When an entertainment, socially extended, exceeds the dimensions of a dinner or luncheon party, or the limits of an ordinary reception, it assumes the proportion and formula of a party or ball, to which certain well-recognized rules of etiquette apply. Either of them, or rather both, for sometimes they can with difficulty be distinguished in form and function, imply music and the dance.
Management.—The ball may be either public or private. In both space becomes a first consideration. The public ball, almost as a matter of course, requires a large, well-ventilated space, which is usually procurable only in the halls of buildings erected for the purpose. The private ball is better suited to the dimensions of ordinary dwellings, where a single large room, or two or more rooms thrown together, may furnish the requisite space. In any event, a rectangular space is preferable to a square space for the arrangement of music and dancers. Flooring should be stripped of carpet, and prepared for the occasion by some application, such as wax or stain, calculated to make gliding motion easy. A decoration of flowers on mantels or in corners, contributes greatly to ball-room effects. There should be convenient side or reception rooms for guests, with facilities for the accommodation of the sexes separately, and for the separation and card-marking of wraps, hats and other laid-off clothing. Such a room, or rooms, should be well provided with toilet articles. A good orchestra is an essential appointment of the public, or any large party or ball. In the smaller or private ball, the piano is a usual resort, but, if possible, it should be accompanied by a violin, banjo, cornet, clarionet or other suitable instrument.
The Public Ball.—The details of a public ball are usually left in the hands of a committee or board of managers. They regulate the questions of time and place, and, for the most part, the choice of guests. They send out the invitations, which are, as a rule, directed only to gentlemen, some two or three weeks in advance of the date of the ball. An invited gentleman is expected to invite the lady of hi6 choice. A gentleman should respond to an invitation within a day or two, accepting or declining. Such invitations and responses need not follow any stereotyped form, but should be simple, clear and direct. An invitation of a gentleman to his lady may say:
October 9, 1904.
Miss Yates:
May I have the pleasure of your company to a
ball to "be held at on Tuesday evening,
October 20, at nine o'clock.
Yours very respectfully,
James R. Mercer.
She may reply, saying:
October 11, 1904.
Mr. James R. Mercer:
It will afford me pleasure to accompany you to the ball at the on the evening of October 20, at the hour stated.
Jennie D. Yates. If the invitation is declined, the reply may run:
October 11, 1904.
Mr. James R. Mercer:
In reply to your hind invitation to the ball at
on October 20, inst., I regret to say
that a previous engagement (state any real cause for refusal) will deprive me of the pleasure of accompanying you.
Jennie D. Yates.
The Private Ball.—Management of the private ball remains in the hands of the persons giving it. Invitations should be sent out two to three weeks in advance by mail or messenger and should be accepted or declined within a day or two. The forms vary, but may run somewhat thus:
Mr. and Mrs. Rodgers extend their compliments to Mr. and Mrs. Pardee, and request the pleasure of their company at a ball on Thursday evening, November 6, at eight o'clock.
Whether this invitation is accepted or refused, the reply should be prompt and in complimentary terms. Invitations to a family, all of whom you desire to attend, may be made to the parents separately, and to daughters and to sons. 1" foregoing form will suffice, names being changed. Keplies should come from each. It is customary to place on the lower left-hand corner of private ball invitations the letters R. S. V. P.—reply if you please—but omission of these presupposes that the invited person knows enough about etiquette to reply without any suggestion.
General Boles.—In settling the number of attendants at a ball, it is best to over-count than to under-count, for there will be some declinations. Moreover, some of the attendants will wish to rest while others are dancing.
- Guests should appear at balls promptly at the time set.
- Invited guests to balls should proceed to pay their respects to host and hostess at once.
- For private balls, dances should be arranged so as to equalize in number quadrilles, polkas and waltzes, and these should be interspersed with a fair proportion of other dances. At large balls, a printed list of dances is provided on cards, with blank spaces for the names of partners. Most halls open with a march.
- An introduction of a lady to a gentleman in order to dance together is not necessarily an introduction based on friendship, and permanent.
- Refreshments usually follow the adjournment of a ball. These may be light or heavy, according to the means of the host or hostess. Public or large balls are, as a rule, succeeded by suppers, and frequently the invitation is to "A ball and supper." If refreshments or suppers come on at midnight, as is frequently, and very properly, the case, dancing is frequently resumed.
- Guests should be paired for refreshment or supper rooms, and duly escorted, as at dinners.
- When a dance ends, a gentleman should thank his partner for the pleasure she has afforded him, and escort her to a seat.
- The gentleman who has invited a lady to accompany him to a ball escorts her thither, presents her to the hostess and participates in the first dance with her.
- A lady should furnish a good reason, such as a previous engagement, unacquaintance with the dance, or something equivalent, for refusing to dance with a gentleman when invited.
- Many dances can be participated in by those unacquainted with them, a graceful carriage and attention to figures being the only requisites demanded of novices.
- Coquetry, conversation foreign to the occasion, and undue contact of persons, are entirely out of place in dancing.
- A lady without an attendant should be provided with one by the host or hostess.
- Dancing engagements should not be forgotten or broken. It leads to embarrassment, if not disgust.
- Do not cling to one partner through several dances. It is an evidence of selfishness and bad taste.
- A bow to a partner is proper at the beginning of a dance; also at the end, when the gentleman expresses his pleasure and escorts his lady to a seat.
- Ball room acquaintances need not be kept up, except at the option of the parties.
- Misunderstandings at balls should be referred to the host or hostess, or to the master of ceremonies.
- A gentleman should never insist upon a lady dancing who is tired out.
- A gentleman should ask permission before taking a seat beside a lady.
- When a gentleman calls to escort a lady to a ball, a present of a bouquet or bunch of flowers is a nice compliment.
- At a public ball, a lady may refuse an introduction to a gentleman; but at a private ball she should accept an introduction.
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